Jeez - lighten up...

I like to mess with people occasionally, and Facebook has proven to be as good a place as any. More specifically the application called "Social Me".
Basically you get to "tag" other people with a set of predefined labels, or create your own. And you can attach an image and a little description to your Social Me profile. Currently, this is me :

PUNY HUMANS!!
Nick, 36 / male
Graaaboch Prime

About Me:
I will destroy you all!

Who I'd like to meet:
A female earthling, who in return will be spared the obliteration in store for this pathetic planet.


- not really something to be taken serious, right? Well apparently someone do. Yes there IS in fact places on this very earth where people with absolutely no sense of humor reside.

Just a few minutes after updating my profile to the above, some silly brat tagged me with this little nugget : "freak-nd-pathetic". Obviously I couldn't let this slide, so I wrote a little note to her, on the Social Me mail system... here's a transcript of the following communication :

Me (Alien Overlord) :

Inferior human!

You have been sentenced to work in the dark mines of Nylaarrfn for a period of no less than five billion years.

Her (Primate of less importance) :

RE:Inferior human!

yr freak grow up nd act yr age nt yr shoesize!!

Me :

RE:Inferior human!

SILENCE! Superior lifeforms have no need for pathetic footwear. Puny human with footwear obsession, should learn how to properly operate a computer input device, instead of argueing with those of a superior intelligence.

Her :

RE:Inferior human!

u finko OH ND GET A RAZOR U NUT CASE

Her (again) :

RE:Inferior human!

ND I WONT BE SILENT 4 BIG HEADED FREAKS LIK U!!!!!

Me :

RE:Inferior human!

Female earthling seems aggrevated. Apparently concepts like humor and irony are wasted on humans. Pity.

Her :

RE:Inferior human!

sado go bck 2 planet zork u dork fuck off

Me :

RE:Inferior human!

Foul language and profanity will not be tolerated under the new earth administration. Disobedient primates will be sent to correctional facilities upon our arrival.

---------------------
- end of transcript. I guess she finally accepted her pityfull fate.
(Cue ominous music and laughter)...


*edit* - By popular demand - here's another one.
She didn't have a tantrum like the above one and somewhat tried to play along it seems. Nevertheless here's my response to her tagging me as "Ridiculous":

Me :

I am superior!

My race will eat insubordinate humans for afternoon snacks! Be warned inferior being!

Her :

RE:I am superior!

naturally...

Me :

RE:I am superior!

Good good. You seem to have come to your senses. There is hope for you after all...

Her :

RE:I am superior!

I already am THE superior race, so you must obey me...

Me :

RE:I am superior!

Lies! You obviously lack the clearly visible mental gland common in highly evolved species. Your head is still covered with primate remains.

Her :

RE:I am superior!

you keep thinking that

Me :

RE:I am superior!

SILENCE!! Thinking is but another primate remain. We, the omnipotent, fold time and space with our mental glands. In comparison, the biggest human mental achievement, is the folding of cutlery. Trivial, mundane and a typical human display of lacking visions.

---------------------
- end of transcript. Fun fun fun :D

Stickers on fruit...

- what's up with that? Don't you just hate it? I mean, who got the "brilliant" idea to label fruit individually? Ok I don't mind so much if you have to peel it first, because the fruit is not in contact with the edible parts. But apples? Who thought "Gosh - I better put stickers on these GRANNY SMITH apples, in case some of them elopes to the box with COX ORANGE". Or even worse as it has been my case at work lately : the plums. Seriously. Plums. But why? WHY? It was so bad on one occasion that the sticker actually tore of part of the skin, upon removal. Is it not bad enough that you have to scrub your fruit to get rid of other peoples germs first? Apparently not. You ALSO have to steam the stickers first, and remove the remaining glue with alcohol, to ensure a "safe" and healthy snack.

- and then you bite down, split it, and find out that someone lives inside the plum. What a waste of time...

The whole shebang is just ludicrous. An apple is NOT an egg. I can understand the need to stamp eggs individually - that in case of illness you can trace the chicken and have it removed before it infects the others. But you're not gonna trace down a specific tree, and that's clearly not what the labels on fruit is for anyways. An apple is just empty advertising space, and empty advertising space makes baby jesus cry... So there.

Yet another ¤#/%¤/#¤% squatter...

- well he IS big enough to pay rent (about 5-6cm).

I call him "Lars".

Goddamn squatters!

A bunch of squatters have taken residence under the roof/ledge, shielding one of my windows. Soon I'll have their (probably pierced, tattooed and skanky) kids making a racket. Sheeeesh, I say!

Drunk bastard...

I just saw in the news today, that a russian ship ran on ground somewhere in Denmark. Skipper was drunk - very drunk. And the ship had permission to carry nuclear waste. Nice. Fortunately it was empty, but how the fuck does a whino get put in charge of a nuclear waste carrying vessel?
Oh yeah - the chief engineer was drunk as a skunk as well. Stupid assholes should go sit on a fuel rod.

Vintage cars - may 2008

Spring is here, which means trips to Kaløvig, to gaze upon the lovely cars of ye olden days.
Yesterday was my first trip this season, and with me I had my colleagues Chekov and Jaco. It started out a bit weak - there was about 6 cars when we got there, but we grabbed a bite, and all of a sudden the place was packed.


- packed, I tells you...


- a pretty Mercedes.


- Ford based(?) pick-up rod? Loved the minimalistic feel.


- a Plymouth looking slightly angry.


- Ford Mustang's are a sure hit. Especially as cabrio. Classy, yet raw and brutal.


- Chekov is attacked by a huuuuge M.A.N. (ex)military truck.


- a Ford, I believe, with folding roof. Nice!


- Chevy Impala arriving.


- Old Ford Anglia. Sweet. Big hot rod potential here.


- Radically slammed Porsche Speedster. It was so low, I bet it was green on the underside when it left...


- Nice beamer! Gotta love the little BMW Isetta cabin scooters.
It was even parked next to the orange Reliant Robin, so you'd have the 2 three-wheelers next to eachother - one with the single wheel in front and one with the single wheel at the back. Cute.


- classic Rat Rod, with some pretty cool pin-striping.


- Opel Rekord coupé.


- RAAAWRRR!! The Mercury Cougar has one of the best fronts. See if you can spot the parts that turn and reveal the headlights.


- we got to try on a Citroen CX for size. It is a flagship. The seats were more comfortable than most recliners I've ever sat in.


- and inside the CX it was Starship Enterprise.... anno 1960. Citroen had some strange ideas - visionary, but strange.


- Camaro SS


- K.I.T.T. decided to show up without the 'Hoff.


Alfa Romeo arriving.


- absolutely stunning BMW.


- pitch black and wicked Chevy pickup arriving.


- not much of a motorcycle freak myself, this one however does deserve a mention. It's a Suzuki Intruder - with 1800cc engine. That's more engine than most average european cars are born with. Intruder - no shit.


These were just a few of the nice cars this time. Hopefully next time we'll stay a little longer, and bring barbecue and chairs for a cozy evening in the roar and smell of automotive history.

Every weekend should be 3 days long...

- no really - they should.

Busy bee...

I had quite an eventfull day yesterday.
Firstly I was up early to clean house, prior to the arrival of Niels and his son Jonas, who came aaaallll the way from Lithuania - just to visit ME! (in reality they had other arrangements here, but I like to feel special, ok?) It was great seeing them again. Doesn't happen very often (for obvious reasons). I had plans for a holiday in Lithuania this year, but unfortunately I'm gonna have to put those plans on hold until Liv and I can sell the "old" appartment.
So anyways - it was really good seeing them again, and Jonas grows up so fast (I guess that's only natural when you don't see him more than once every or every other year). Oh - and they brought a little present too. Of the consumeable kind. A tacky-looking bottle of otherwise excellent Lithuanian mead. It was much lighter and less harshly sweet as the danish meads typically are. Most of the ones I've tasted, have this really strong sweet feel, like if you just choked on a big spoonfull of honey. Best part though was the list of ingredients which ended with "...and acidic regulating stuff". I lol'ed. We need more products with "stuff" in them :)

When Niels and Jonas left, I had just about an hour untill I had to be at Liv's for a little birthday gathering with her family (it was her birthday friday, and I brought her breakfast... ain't I the considerate ex...). Now I don't see her family very often since we split up, so it was nice to see them again - I was only missing the dog... But instead they brought the new car which me and Liv's dad quickly ran off to inspect, leaving the women to the kitchen duties, just as it should be. Men and their cars, women and their kitchens. Perfect ;)

I left about 6'ish, giving me just 2 hours before the first guests arrived to participate in a small Former Runestone Employee Gathering (tm). And from then on it was just downhill. It was me, Sammy, Morfar, Dr. Gabby, Søren-for-sent, and Ric. Ric brought a few bottles of fine whiskey, and I started dragging stuff out of the liquor altar, like absinth, arnbitter, un-pronounceable bulgarian stuff, vodka, jägermeister and of course cold beers. It was great fun as always when we get together (so let this be a reminder to do it more often) - although a great deal of the other former Runestoners couldn't be there. Next time though - and then hopefully with a full blown barbecue in the garden...

I think we broke it up a little past 3 at Gerner's Grill getting a late night snack, after having spend a great deal of time earlier, dissing the quality of their food and how it is not just as choice as in the good ol' days. But beggars can't be choosers, and it was either Gerner's or flappy pizza slices from 7-11... and 7-11 is a good 30 meters further down the street. We just couldn't be bothered.

So today I was actually expecting a nice hangover, but so far nothing serious. I've been out and about, and enjoying my breakfast in the garden where it was lovely warm and sunny. Worst bit of hangover-related... stuff... was when I woke up after only 5 hours sleep (as usual) and felt a little woozy and... bleeergh. But I'm all good now. Hopefully this doesn't mean that the hangover comes after me with a vengance tomorrow. Please not on a workday...

- so happy sunday to ya'll. I'm gonna go do absolutely nothing. Except maybe breathe... and drink coke... and maybe watch a movie or two... and ... STUFF!

My loonie bun is fine, Benny Lava

A while back I posted this amazing indian music video. Well - thanks to science (and utter boredom) we now know what they're actually singing:



- fascinating.

I hate networking...

- no, not the getting hammered and dancing naked on the table at the local pub to get attention because your friends are busy scoring, and suddenly everyone thinks you're awesome and wants to buy you drinks -networking.
I hate computer-networking. HATE it. Every computer purchase should come with a sysadmin. In which case I would have 4, but at least they'd be able to solve my network problems quickly and efficiently, when they decide to pop up completely out of the blue.

3 days ago my internet connection died on me. So bad I had to call support at my ISP - something that luckily only happens once or twice every year. Together we try a few different solutions, rebooting, restarting the modem, disconnecting cables, replacing cables - and in the end they send a new profile to the modem, and it works. Yeah - they fucked it up to begin with.
- but I also suspect that all the hassle made my switch go bonkers. Suddenly, after having played a bit of STALKER (yes, again) I have no internet. So I restart the modem - still nothing. And even weirder - the IP-phone works. And in 99% of the cases this means an error in my end. Great. I'll be arsed if I have to call support for the second time this year, only 1 day later.
I boot a second machine and a third, just to see if they can connect through the network - and they can't. The two others can go online though. Further investigation reveals, that my primary has suddenly decided to ditch it's IP-adress, subnet mask and primary gateway. Excellent - how the fuck did THAT happen?!?!? I reassign - and the primary can go online as well - but still no connection between the three computers. Infuriating! I'm a little out of my league all of a sudden, and I'm even peeking in the BIOS to check if something has gone AWOL, but no - everything is peaches and dandy. As a last resort, I take a look at the switch which is blinking rather incoherantly, as opposed to the 3x3 blips indicating that there's traffic between 3 active computers. So I reboot the switch, and everything works again.

Did I mention how much I hate networking?